Left Behind
by Ximatrii
Summary: Okay, I've decided to write a third section. Enjoy, and tell me what you all think!


Left Behind tss tss 1 0 2001-11-09T18:04:00Z 2001-11-09T18:04:00Z 2 866 4937 uiw 41 9 6062 9.3821 

**Left Behind******

By: Mara Jade

Okay, I've decided to write a third section.  Enjoy, and tell me what you all think!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            I couldn't go to sleep at all, and I laid on my bed, staring into the darkness.  I have a run I need to make tomorrow, and I'll be up early as it is.  It would _not do for me to sleep in, or fall asleep when exiting Coruscant's atmosphere. There was enough junk orbiting the overpopulated planet as it is, they don't need my ship up there as well, a permanent exhibit._

            And besides, Skywalker would wonder about what happened.  No matter what, he always cares about everyone else.

            Oh, what am I thinking about!  Why can't I go to sleep, and not dream of…him, or think of him, or anything!  I don't get enough sleep as it is, I don't need him haunting my dreams now.

            Jade, I warn myself, Calm down.  It's not like he's the Emperor or anything.

            But he's powerful, too powerful, as it sometimes seems.  He can be farmboy when he wants to, but then all it seems is that should someone anger him, I'd see the Emperor, reincarnated.  Just not through one of his infinite clones, but instead in the sandy-haired, blue eyed Jedi Master.

            In my dreams, or more accurately my nightmares, I see him, Skywalker, and he's just staring at me, like he so often did on Myrkr.  Then he smiles, this almost evil, superior smirk, and his eyes darken momentarily, then they lighten to a sick yellow.  He tells me I'm his, his to do what he wants with.

            I've always dreamt of the Emperor.  He was such an influence on my life, he was a god to my young self.  If he'd have snapped his fingers, I'd have willingly jumped off the Palace roof.

            Yes, the dreams aren't uncommon.

            Tonight, though, too many things happened, and that's why I can't sleep.

            Having just helped this New Republic win over another population on some Outer Rim planet, Organa Solo felt it would be appropriate to have me over for dinner.  This isn't the first time she'd done this, and I usually find a way out.  But for some Force-forsaken reason, I decided to come tonight.  It had been in her apartment, and the only people there were Solo, Organa Solo, and their three children.

            I felt somewhat surprised that Skywalker wasn't there, but I pushed away that thought.  There was no reason for him to be there.  I wasn't even sure he was on Coruscant.  Organa Solo was friendly and rather warm, unlike she usually is.  She usually just tolerates me.  But who can blame her.  One of the first things I ever told her was that I'd kill her brother.

            Solo was his usual Corellian self, making smart remarks about my ship, though I've noticed him giving my _Fire approving glances when he thinks I'm not looking.  And I don't even want to fly that hunk of space junk he affectionately calls the __Millennium Falcon.  That thing belongs in a museum, or better yet a scrap pile, though I do know the bond he has with his ship.  And she __is fast, I'll give her that._

            The twins were polite, and I can tell already that Jaina's like her dad more than her mother.  One of the first things she asked me was if I still owned the _Jade's Fire, then if I'd give her a ride in it.  She's a ship lover, definitely.  Her brother, Jacen, is more reserved, quieter.  His questions are very well-thought out. He'd be a good diplomat._

            And little Anakin, he's just like any child his age.  Cute, adorable, and added with his two siblings, completely irresistible.

            I mean, I hardly spend any time around kids.  I'm a Master Trader, and most business persons leave their kids at home, though some idiots have brought their kids to work.  "Oh, yes, honey, you can go play.  Just keep away from the stuff that glows."  I tend to shy away from any person who does that.

            Or men like Calrissian, if you even want to call him a man.  He thinks he can win me, like someone can a trophy for smashball.  Men like him disgust me.

            Oh, what am I babbling about?  I know what the real problem is.

            I saw Luke and Callista tonight.

            Now, Skywalker's life is just that—his life and his business.  But seeing that, that _body thief with him, it just…I don't know. It's hard to see him throw his life away for the blonde woman who took his student's body._

            They were hugging, and kissing, and in public, too.  They were at a dance club I stopped by on my way home, one in the Imperial palace.  I saw them dancing, and I reached out to touch them with the Force, and I caught nothing but a void from the blonde, but Luke…uh, Skywalker had his normal warm aura about him, and he glanced over in my direction immediately.  He gave me a little wave, and I allowed myself a small sad smile.

            I don't like Skywalker, no way, but seeing him, with that, with _her, I couldn't stand it._

            He had his arms around _her, not me.  He wanted to dance with __her, not me.  Not me.  I'm not interested in him, no, no way.  He's the Jedi, the almighty, all-powerful Jedi Master, and I'm just an assassin turned smuggler.  I call myself a Master Trader, though.  But Callista is lower than that.  She's a Force-less Jedi Knight, who couldn't leave Cray's body alone.  No, this woman had to steal it from the younger woman.  If I'm an ex-assassin, then what is Callista?_

            And why choose her over me?

            I'm attractive, I know that.  And so is Callista, in her own body-thief-ish way.  I'm smart, and though my temper has a short fuse, Skywalker and I get along fine.  But, no, he has to choose the blonde.

            But I don't like Luke!  I never have.  My mind must be playing tricks on me.

            Or maybe I'm jealous.  Jealous.  Luke chose her over me.

            I'm never jealous, but that's what I feel.  Envy.  Envy that he found someone, and I didn't.  That I'm left behind.

            That he found the other part to his soul.

            A small part of my mind adds, _And it's not me._

            If she makes him happy, then good for him.  It's about time he found someone.

            But, Callista, you hurt him, any way at all, there will be hell to pay, sister.  Believe me.  I won't let you hurt my farmboy.


End file.
